Pallid Breath Holding

I debated sharing as this was the SCARIEST mom moment to date and still feels quite vulnerable. But, I strongly feel that we learn from one another’s experiences and through the process of telling and receiving each other’s stories we connect and grow. ⁣

Yesterday, on our afternoon walk just before nap time: ⁣

Brigit stumbled over a rock and fell. Caught herself on her hands, didn’t even hit her knees. I locked the stroller holding our twinsies and picked her up from behind, turning her towards me. She took that big breath that tells us parents a wail is coming. Then it didn’t come… instead, Brigit had the look of someone who is just about to have a seizure. Body rigid. Not breathing. Glossy eyed stare. Flat affect. Non-responsive. 5-6 seconds maybe. It felt like an eternity. ⁣

Intuition and instinct told me how to act in the moment. I breathed into her and thumped her chest. She came to. Took a breath and let out the wail I’d been anticipating. No convulsions. The only other symptom was a pale complexion for about 10 minutes after. ⁣

Since the incident I have sobbed multiple times as I allow myself to feel the gravity of what I thought was potentially happening. My fear turns to appreciation for the experiences I’ve had in my life prior which help me both to understand what happened and how to help her. We are powerful and fully capable of supporting this both if it happens again and to prevent Brigit’s tension level from becoming so overwhelming. ⁣

This incident reminded me how significantly emotion can impact our bodies. Brigit had an entirely emotional trigger which manifested physically. ⁣

As a therapist I engaged with this to some degree with each client. Emotion lives in our bodies. So it makes sense that our bodies health is impacted by emotion. My child literally stopped breathing. Our bodies are incredible and if our emotions are so powerful in this way, why not the other. Joy and gratitude being supportive of a healthy body? ⁣

Lots of love to you and your body. You’re both Resilient and amazing. 💜🥰💜

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